Someone Else's Table

You used to sit at my table enjoying our hospitality and bonhomie
Drink our wine and eat our food
Talk about someone else and this and that
Discuss who did what and why and how
And crimes of other marriages, not ours
And how lucky we all are and smug
In our booze fueled get togethers and camaraderie

Now you ask how are you when we by chance
Bump into each other at school or the shop
And you tell me you know
Just exactly what I am going through
Because your aunt or your husband's friend went through but exactly the same thing
So you smile sadly and you nod sagely and with a knowing look
Move on in your sidestep social dance

And happily report my news at someone else's table
To be discussed and pondered on
While drinking their wine and eating their food
While here, a family is holding on by threads
Coming undone
And although you cannot see it, my heart has gone through the windscreen
In a screech of tires and shattered glass
The wounds don't show but I still bleed
And would love to tell it all if I were able

To move past the point of shame
While you, smug and self satisfied, delude yourselves
Over hors d'oeuvres and chilled Chablis,
Convince each other that all is well
Tut tutting and humming and soaking up the detritus
Of my calamity
Not thinking to ask me for the facts
Before you fictionalise it all into something more digestible
And layer speculation on top of pain

While you feign compassion and today a modicum of care
Over coffee and those little mints,
You are the Queen
Whose maid might well be making it tomorrow
With the King
In the counting house
Which is bare.