Extraordinarily Astounded

I recently joined a group on Facebook called "Extraordinary Women" and got a warm fuzzy feeling at having been invited to join this select group of African lasses dedicated to celebrating the joy that is womanhood. What an interesting bunch of girls I found in this group from all over Africa and beyond. There were posts aplenty about the words of inspiration that the group send out daily and I looked forward to getting my first instalment when I sat down at my desk this morning.

Look, life hasn't exactly been a bed of roses recently and I have found myself quite blue quite often as I struggle to make sense of how my life has been turned upside down. So the thought of something uplifting from my new found gang of empowered girlfriends was quite exciting.

Coffee in hand I opened the message to be met with the screaming headline "Bacterial Vaginosis".

I almost had cardiac arrest. This was not the inspiration I had anticipated at all. In fact it was an assault. However, like a lemming to a cliff I was compelled to read the article start to finish despite my mounting horror.

Without subjecting my already very small fan club to a similar assault, let it be said that there is nothing empowering about a Vajay-jay as far as I am concerned and after reading this article I am more convinced than I ever was of this fact. Having lived through the extremes of birthing my first child in a teaching hospital, I can tell you that a Vajay-jay is the least empowering part of being a woman.

The article went through the symptoms of this ghastly infection in graphic and granular detail and if that were not enough, then proceeded to espouse the virtues of crushed garlic and plain yoghurt as a remedy applied directly to said infected area, or better yet, inserted for maximum relief.

The thought of an already distressed Vajay-jay being furthermore abused by raw garlic and yoghurt sent shivers of revulsion up and down my spine and much to my own dismay, sat clutching my coffee cup  staring into the middle distance, resisting the urge to dash down the passage and inspect mine for any sign of this nasty interloper.

Now I am all for garlic and its medicinal qualities, but you can bet on it that should I ever be blighted by this particularly nasty bug, I am definitely not going to be putting the garlic crusher to use for any other purpose than those culinary and the idea of a nice cool punnet of yoghurt will never be the same for me again, ever.

The article ended with a warning about multiple partners and thus comforted, (I don't even have one partner) I closed my browser and moved on with my day. I can assure you I have never been so overjoyed to do the accounts as I was this morning. And I am near dying with anticipation to see what the Extraordinary Lasses produce for tomorrow.